Poor Hank Williams Jr. Another victim of the oversensitive stiffs at MNF and ESPN, where the “P” stands for “pansies”.
Sadly, I am unable to embed this video. Also can’t hyperlink for some reason. I think my site is falling apart. Copy and paste the following link and check it out:
Magic Matt writes: Brad gains a little ground on J-Rod with a consistent week of ineptitude, but Mark Sanchez keeps Afkar in front with a Least Valuable Player statement performance.
Here are this week’s standings:
Brad – 26
J-Rod – 25
Batman – 20
Brandon – 19
Matt – 18
J-Rod – 113
Brad – 107
Matt – 86
Batman – 72
Brandon – 64
I don’t know why but I laugh every time I open this picture. Now I don’t have to open it. I can just come here and look at it. And laugh.
As promised, here is the Bonus Segment from last Friday night’s show. Check it out!
Magic Matt says: Brandon’s team is still too good …and that’s not good. Aaron Kampman and Braylon Edwards are still hurt. Nice work guys!
Here are this week’s standings:
J-Rod – 28
Brad – 26
Matt – 19
Batman – 18
Brandon – 15
J-Rod – 88
Brad – 81
Matt – 68
Batman – 52
Brandon – 45
If you heard 9/16′s Brad Westmar Show you heard some classic Monday Night Football intros with Howard Cosell and Frank Gifford. Being the hack he is, Brad also did some parodies of his own. After the show was over, he gave Magic Matt and Batman their own private show and did one more, off the air. Batman just happened to roll tape shortly after Brad started. Here it is:
With all the positive hype about Cam “Laptop” Newton, it’s hard to believe he has become Magic Matt’s turnover and sack-taking machine. Injury bonus points to Brad’s Aaron Kampman and J-Rod’s Braylon Edwards.
Here are this weeks’ results:
J-Rod – 29
Matt – 29
Brad – 24
Brandon – 17
Batman – 16
J-Rod – 60
Brad – 55
Matt – 49
Batman – 34
Brandon – 30
For years I’ve been questioning why the outdated ketchup packet tears down the side, causing unnecessary finger and plate messes. Finally, someone with some brains came up with a new version that looks like it will work much better.
It should come as no surprise that it was Heinz who brainpowered the solution and not Hunt. After all, one has to look no further when comparing NFL franchises of the past 35 years: Pittsburgh Steelers? Kansas City Chiefs? No contest. The Chiefs have been making more than just ketchup messes the past few decades.
As predicted, Brad is really bad at Fantasy Football. So bad, in fact, that the team he picked for Jared sucked just as bad as his own.
Week 1 BFF Standings
Brad – 31
J-Rod – 31
Matt – 20
Batman – 18
Brandon – 13
As heard during the draft on tonight’s show:
QB – Tarvaris Jackson (SEA)
RB – Mike Tolbert (SD)
WR – Chad Ochocinco (NE)
TE – Jeremy Shockey (CAR)
K – Steven Hauschka (SEA)
D – Jaguars (Aaron Kampman)
Coach – Tom Coughlin (NYG)
QB – Colt McCoy (CLE)
RB – Fred Jackson (BUF)
WR – Pierre Garcon (IND)
TE – Ed Dickson (BAL)
K – Rob Bironas (TEN)
D – Lions (Kyle Vanden Bosch)
Coach – Pete Carroll (SEA)
QB – Ryan Fitzpatrick (BUF)
RB – Felix Jones (DAL)
WR – Plaxico Burress (NYJ)
TE – Dustin Keller (NYJ)
K – Josh Scobee (JAX)
D – Raiders (Richard Seymour)
Coach – Rex Ryan (NYJ)
QB – Mark Sanchez (NYJ)
RB – Reggie Bush (MIA)
WR – Braylon Edwards (SF)
TE – Jermaine Gresham (CIN)
K – Nick Folk (NYJ)
D – Chiefs (Andy Studebaker)
Coach – Todd Haley (KC)
QB – Cam Newton (CAR)
RB – Marshawn Lynch (SEA)
WR – Steve Smith (CAR)
TE – Heath Miller (PIT)
K – Mike Nugent (CIN)
D – Bills (Shawn Merriman)
Coach – Jim Harbaugh (SAN)
How’d you like to be the woman in charge of cleaning up this mess at the park?
Finally, here are some more pictures I took during my travels west of Denver.
I’m pretty sure there were some bigfoots up in some of these mountains. Lookin’ mighty “Squatchy” as Bo-Bo from the T.V. show “Finding Bigfoot” would say.
Heading into a tunnel of love(-ing myself).
Now here’s one I think I could scale.
It’s a little frightening to see warning signs telling you to stay on the interstate if you lose your brakes.
My favorite signs are the runaway truck ramps. The best one is early in the trip – it goes straight up a large hill/mountain. Unfortunately I didn’t get a picture of that one. But these give you an idea if you’ve never seen them before.
A trip north-ish of I-70 towards McCoy, CO was gorgeous. Made me wanna climb every last mountain I saw. Needless to say, mobile phone service was non-existent out this way.
Here are a couple of videos shot during the beautiful drive west of Denver on I-70 heading towards Glenwood Springs, CO.
We’re taking Fantasy Football in a completely different direction:
Brad Westmar Show Bassackwards Fantasy Football Rules:
Each team will draft 1 QB, 1 RB, 1 WR, 1 TE, 1 Kicker, 1 Coach, and 1 Defense.
At the time of the draft, each team must designate one player from their chosen defense as their “injury-risk.” Bonus points will be awarded should that player become injured. All players must be chosen from Jamey Eisenberg’s CBS Sports Preseason Rankings (Click Here). Only players ranked in the top 32 are eligible to be drafted.
The following categories will be scored using standard roto style scoring (ie: if we there are 5 teams in the league, the team that wins the category will be awarded 5 points, 4 for 2nd, 3 for 3rd, 2 for 4th, and 1 for 5th):
QB – Most incompletions
RB – Fewest rushing yards
WR – Fewest receiving yards
TE – Fewest receiving yards
D – Most points allowed
QB – 2 bonus points will be awarded for each turnover
QB – 1 bonus point will be awarded for each sack taken
RB – 2 bonus points will be awarded for each turnover
WR – 2 bonus points will be awarded for each turnover
TE – 2 bonus points will be awarded for each turnover
D – 4 bonus points will be awarded should your defense allow over 40 points
K – 2 points awarded for each missed field goal or extra point
Coach – 5 bonus points will be awarded should your coach get bleeped out during the post-game press conference. This applies only to the post-game press conference on game day and is awarded only once per week.
Should any of your players get injured, 2 bonus points will be awarded for that week. To be eligible for the injury bonus points, your player must miss the remainder of the game with said ailment. Player’s that “tough it out” or “play through the pain” will not be rewarded. Four points will be awarded for each subsequent game missed due to injury (this includes “injury-risk” defensive players). However, if your player does not play, you will not be eligible for the weekly standard roto scoring. No free agents will be added to rosters to replace injured players.
Should any of your players get arrested during the season, 10 bonus points will be awarded. Defenses and “injury-risk” defensive players are not eligible.
Scoring will be tabulated every Tuesday by Magic Matt (Insert Last Name Here). Standings will be posted on bradwestmar.com.
I wish my full-time job was adding stuff to this site because, we all know, content is king. When I don’t put up new stuff, people don’t visit this site. It is what it is. Now that I’m back from another business trip, I have a ton of pictures and video to share.
We begin with the boarding of my plane at KCI. It was very difficult to get a pic of this cat without him knowing. He stepped on fairly late. White dude, dreadlocks, sloppy looking dress but covered it up with his red jacket and top hat. This guy should be a regular on the show because there’s no doubt he speaks retard just like the rest of us.
Tornado shelter at Denver International. Interesting.
Here’s a shocker: An empty, stationary baggage carousel.
Another shocker. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you – Michael Gross – as he also waits for his luggage. (What would we do, baby…without us?? Sha-la-la-la!!!)
Passing the time with JJ The Pollock, Clint (Tina’s brother) Fey, & Folsom-bound, Chris Gehrke.
We somehow ended up at Toby Keith’s about 6 hours later than I expected we would. Needless to say, I drank pop & water. JJ, on the other hand, gulped 2 gargantuan mason jars and passed out on the way home with the stereo on full-blast. Life with 3 little ones will most likely kill this almost-40 year-old. But he’s giving it his all by trying to say sober almost 0% of the time! By the way, the most entertaining part about TK’s is watching the rather large women ride the mechanical bull. Usually the bull taps out within 15 seconds.
I had a little mishap in the car on my way to Glenwood Springs:
I tried to desperately to get an underground “prescription” but…
I’m your huckleberry!
The Hotel Denver in Glenwood Springs has actual room keys with your room number on them. This is a huge help to drunken fools who can easily forget their room number. (Ahem!)
Speaking of drinking, God bless the micro-brews inside The Hotel Denver!
Mount Sopris is an ominous presence south of Glenwood Springs off of Highway 82. As I stated on Twitter…”I’m gay for mountains”.
I hate to be too anally retentive, but come on! Crap like this should just NOT happen on a Chinese restaurant’s menu. To their credit, “Tao” and “Tso” are both Chinese words. At least the food was good.
Senor Fey and I began our Thursday evening at The Yard House in Lakewood:
We later found ourselves at The 1UP in downtown Denver. 80′s arcade games galore, all for 25 cents per play.
Interesting pictures and graffiti in the bathroom at The 1UP.
The security lines at Denver International Airport can seem intimidating at first glance. The good news is they do move fairly quickly.
This concludes Part 1 of Denver Travels. More to come…